A Montague

Would That I Be Romeo

"If wanting were a country, then I would be its king."

It wasn't always like this. I learned a long time ago not to want things I can't have. I learned a long time ago to be happy with the many great things I do have, the many great people I have in my life, the places I've been, the things I've seen. Be happy with all that it is right to be happy with and when the madness takes me at the very least I have a chance. I have something to fall back into. I have an escape. They can't get you if you have an escape.


But something has changed in the last little while. I want something now. It's not something I can have. It's not something I should want. But I do. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Except that deep down I know it is. The more time I spend fighting it though the tougher it becomes to fight other things. Great armies fall to a divided front, what chance does a single man have up against the same?


So I come to grips with the way the world is changing, learn to deal with what I've become. When the smoke clears I'll either still be standing...or I won't.


"I look like a shaved gorilla with twenty pounds of ground beef for a head. No dame that looks like that could be into me unless she wanted somethin'. I learned that a long time ago." - The Goon, The Goon: Nothin' But Misery



Truth Will Out

"You're not going to make it."

"What?"

"You're not going to make it."

"Yes I am. Why would you say that?"

"Because it's the truth. You're not going to make it. You may get close, you may get real close. But almost isn't is. And you're not going to make it."

"Yeah...I know."

"Then why bother?"

"Could I look them in the eyes if I didn't?"

"You wouldn't have to."

"Doesn't make it right."

"So you're really going to try and pull this off?"

"Hell yeah I am."

"Fine. Just as long as you know..."

"Yeah, I'm not going to make it, I get it."

"No, you don't. We're not going to make it."

On Strength

If- by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


It is an unfortunate fact that we often only recognize strength in others when it stands in stark contrast to our own weakness. We marvel at others ability to say 'no' when they want to say 'yes', to speak up when it would be easier to remain silent, to do things and go places that we only dream of. We are most impressed by strength when it makes us feel weak.

It is also true that we often fail to recognize our own true strengths until the odd instance of happenstance forces us to draw from some reserve within us that we had not previously been aware of. And that all too often we fail to see the strength within us that seems so clear to others.

So tonight we ask God to help us to find a true appreciation for the strengths of others, no matter what they may be, and draw inspiration from it. And tonight we ask God to help us find our own strength so that others may be inspired by us.