Creme Soda & Corn Flakes

"Hey there, it's been awhile." - T.O. Hob, The Return of T.O. Hob

No, no...it's not over yet.

I haven't been here much lately. Not by choice, but because my computer is so ass backwards it hasn't been worth posting. I'm holding out on laying out the cash to buy a new computer. And this one is beyond redemption...much like me.

I've been pretty busy at work. Really busy. Really, really busy. Really, really, really busy.

Get it?

Forget lunch breaks, I can't even take a piss till everyone else is long gone for the day. Even then I'm afraid to go into the bathroom, because God forbid the phone rings and I don't answer it. You know it's bad when you can't take a shit because every time you think you hear the phone ring you have to shut the lights off so the fan goes off so you can hear if the phone rings. You ever try to piss in the dark? Or worse the phone is ringing and I have to stop what I'm doing and make a mad dash for that shit. Three steps out of the bathroom with my drawers around my ankles and I'm wondering, "Did I remember to lock the office door?"

Shit.

It's been a long time since I've had a break. Long time since I wasn't tired. But I guess it's good to feel like you've done something. To know that you're working as hard as you possibly can, even if it's at something completely pointless.

Hell. I'm just glad to be alive I guess...glad to have something. Glad to be able to drop you a line here, even if it is only once every thirteen days at this point.

See you soon.

The Jesus Lobotomy: Return to The Abyss

"Well, that does it gentleman. We are now officially a conglomerate of dirty old men." - T.O. Hob, on The Organization

I overslept this morning. First time in a long time I wasn't where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there. I wasn't too happy about that.

Yesterday was a very bad day.

The last few weeks haven't been that great. I've been sick, I've been well, I've been sick again. These last few days have been sick days.

This afternoon I felt a little better after work, and I had a rather brilliant idea. I would take this well time and clean my apartment. Not just a normal cleaning, a Palomba cleaning. The kind of cleaning where I mix my own industrial strenght cleaning solution so strong it strips the pain of the walls and makes the neighbors dizzy. The type of cleaning where you can eat off the floor as soon as the toxicity wears off. The kind of cleaning where...well, hell you get the point.

I didn't get very far before I fell ill again, but I got somewhere at least. And I'm still going.

So anyway that doesn't really mean anything...except somewhere during it all I got that old feeling. The one which is neither good nor bad. The one that really wouldn't even be a feeling if I didn't know it couldn't be anything else. That tingle.

And I had an idea.

What if all I needed was a good night's sleep?

What if all I needed was a cozy bed?

So I went out and bought some new bedsheets, and made my way back to my apartment.

My half cleaned apartment.

This has been the worst entry ever. But here's my point, that crappy little apartment is finally beginning to feel familiar. Finally beginning to feel different.

Tonight I will sleep in a bed for the first time in over 9 months. Tomorrow I will by a computer to replace this virus riddled piece of shit, work a little, write a little, and give my notice....I'm moving out. Moving on.