The Grey Days And My Trip To Philadelphia

This morning as I drove to Philadelphia I thought back on dreams I had last night. Good dreams, odd dreams, but good nonetheless.

When I got to Philly I met up with Goldberg and headed over to Wizard World. Five minutes in the door I had caught a glimpse of one of my favorite sculptors Clay Moore. Five minutes later and I had made my first purchase a 1970's Captain Britain Bust and The Iron Man Hulkbuster Armor both made by Bowen. I wandered back over to the Moore booth and picked up one of the famed Magdalena AP's. Clay and a woman (his wife?) were the only ones working the stand, there wasn't even a crowd. I asked sort of hesitantly because I couldn't see his nametag and had never actually met him before, "Are you Clay?" When he said he was I said that I was a big fan, that I really liked his stuff. He looked down at the Magdalena statue and said, "I didn't sculpt this one. Dene did." I knew that already, but said "Oh yeah, but I really like your stuff too." Shook his hand, thanked him again, and took off. He seemed like a real cool guy.

A few minutes later I met Brandon Shiflett. The Shiflett Brothers are really cool too, I don't actually have any of their stuff yet. But that's because most of it is either kits (which I have no talent for), or really expensive and not in one of the areas I collect. But I've had my eye on an Ol' Scratch Bronze for a few weeks now. They'll only be making 18 of them, they're pretty pricey, but they're cool. Small, but cool. Brandon was real nice too, he told me they'd only sold three of them so far. The first one to the design head at WETA and the most recent one to Peter Jackson himself. I had wanted one before, when I saw it I knew I had to have one. Oddly enough they didn't take Visa, and I certainly wasn't about to lay out the total in cash, so I told him I'd shoot of an e-mail as soon as I got home and if the number 4 was available I'd pay for it with paypal. We'll see what happens.

I also met this really cool artist who was doing these odd pieces as people watched. It had the biggest crowd of Artist Alley and no one knew who the hell the kid was. I spent a few minutes talking to him, and ended up buying one of his full size pieces. He was sort of at a loss as how to package it (I get a feeling a lot of these artists and sculptures go to these things not expecting to sell anything), he framed it right there and I took it back to my car immediately.

I also began to buy what will soon be an army of Cylon busts. Diamond Select made something like 2,000 of them and while I know I won't be able to get all of them (they've already sold them all and it would also cost me like $100,000) I do intend to get quite a few of them, and then maybe a very long time from now get the life size one by Barton.

It was a real good day. Expensive, but good.

On the ride home I could see the sky getting darker and darker. It was clear a big storm was on the way. Then I could see the rain, and though I expected to hit it any second, I didn't. For a little over a minute I watched as it rained on the cars in front of me, but not on mine. It was like I was chasing the rain up the highway at sixty miles per hour. It only lasted a minute, but it was sort of wow.

Really sort of wow.

Green Hulk Can Match Grey Hulk?

What?

Anyway, work has been RIDICULOUS lately. But at the very least I can say that we've continually come out on top despite the odds.

Tomorrow is going to suck long and hard. I'm going to do everything I can to help us get through it.

Saturday it looks like I'll be going to Wizard World with Goldberg. That should be a blast.

Sunday is James's graduation. That should be a graduation.

Now you may (or may not) be reading this and going "Half his posts have said the exact same thing lately."

The fact that what I said I was doing on Sunday and what I say I am doing now are still relatively the same is nothing short of a minor miracle and I will look at it just like that.

One kink in the general plan for the next few weeks is the Antioch Team actively half planned for June 7th. Dinner with the monkeys is definitely out, the boat is looking less and less likely, I don't think anyone would enjoy the Belmont and we'd get there so late we'd be lucky to get in. So...what the hell are we doing? I have no idea, but at the very least I'll be sending an e-mail out tomorrow reminding everyone we're doing something.

So anyway, I think I died this morning. But it's sorted out rather well as for some reason it means that I can breath half rightly for the first time in a week. I'd otherwise felt like I'd been suffocating for a very long time.

Oh...and I have a fence. If I don't watch out I might actually turn my house into a home.

Perish the thought.

Oh...and Green Hulk Can Match Grey Hulk.

Most certainly.

What About?

I can't stop this. I can't.

It's already gone too far, gotten too out of hand.

I'd do something about it if I could, but I can't.

I can't.

I won't.

Will I?

Will I?

Indiana Jones And The Holy Shit Why The Fuck Would You Do That?

Next time I see Steven Spielberg I'm going to whip my dick out and piss in his mouth.

Then when I see him again, he'll close his mouth. And I'll go, "See? You learned. Last time you made a mistake and kept your mouth open, this time you were smart enough to close your mouth. So if you make a shitty movie that ends with funny looking aliens and nobody likes it WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT MORE FUNNY LOOKING ALIENS IN ANOTHER MOVIE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER?"

See? We all loved E.T., but get over it. And George Lucas, yes Star Wars was one of the greatest things ever, but when you tried again it didn't work, right? Right? So maybe you should stop friggin' with beloved things from my childhood before I show up at the Skywalker Ranch rip your eyeballs out and skull fuck you? Got it? Ok.

But I still liked the movie, sort of.

Anyway, moving on. So Saturday night I originally planned on paying a visit to an old friend, but things went sort of screwy and it didn't work out. Sunday night things went better and I'm really glad that they did. I'm sitting in the office now because things changed around a little bit and I need to get a few things done.

Tomorrow they'll be putting up my fence, and the grass is pretty much coming along nicely. Not perfect just yet, but nicely.

I'm about 8 episodes into the third season of BSG, I should finish that up by the end of the week.

I might end up going to Wizard World afterall, Goldberg is talking about going so I might end up going with him.

Sunday is James's graduation. I can't believe he's getting out of high school already. Shows how old I'm getting. He's a good kid, and a smart kid, and he's going to USC next year to study film and I'm sure he'll do real well with it.

So I'm piss broke. Which I love. Because I'm not really piss broke, but it makes it more interesting when I actually have to make money related decisions. Instead of just buying everything. And since I know that I'm not actually broke, there's no pressure either. It's sort of like a really fucked up game. I like really fucked up games.

Anyway, I just balanced out the can and now I have some more work to do. So I'm going to think of some more things to write for later and I'll certainly see you then.

Tell Me Something, Would You Please?

Just now.

That's when things began to close in on me.

Just this second.

I was thinking of something, and suddenly thinking of something else, and suddenly they were sitting there staring like they tend to do and asking questions of me with only their eyes.

The Old Ghosts.

This time they brought memories.

Memories of a soft embrace, memories of gentle words, memories of moments I'd long since forgotten and moments I've tried so hard to forget.

Memories that remind me of things I'm missing.

Or of things I've never had.

Odd.

There is nothing different about today. Nothing has happened, nothing has sparked a fire inside of me, or stirred up long buried longings. Nothing.

But still...

Here I am. Sitting in this theater, the lights gone dim around me, I the audience of only one, wondering if the show's already over.

Or if it's just begun.

Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world.

I caught someone drinking on the job last night.


It was me.


I was going to fire myself, but then I decided that this place would be better off with me drinking than without me at all.


Slightly fuzzy logic I suppose.


But then again everything was getting slightly fuzzy at that.


The headaches and nosebleeds are back.


I'm thinking of going to Wizard World in Philadelphia to see if I can't track down some statues. I hear they have some cool Galactica stuff too, and Starbuck is even scheduled to be there. Lou Ferrigno will also be there. But I'm pretty sure I could get Lou Ferrigno to come stand in a corner in my office all day for the right amount of money at this point. Doesn't matter. Lou Ferrigno is still cool as hell. Now I just have to see if anyone wants to go to Wizard World with me.

I've been thinking about getting that life size Cylon. I'm really enjoying watching Battlestar Galactica and while it hasn't quite reached my favorite tv shows list yet it is getting there quick. It's a shame I got into it so late though, this is the last year afterall, and there's little or no chance of me catching up by the time it's over. I remember seeing the original cylons on the Universal Studios tour back in the day (or was it MGM?) and thinking they were hella cool. But then the old show sort of slipped my consciousness to the point where I remembered Dirk Benedict played the original less hot Starbuck, but totally forgot the robots were called Cylons. As cool as the original cylons were the new ones are just plain frakking scary.


I was sitting in my car last night while we tried to stakeout my lot and see where the dog was getting out and while I did I watched a few episodes of Galactica Season 2. One was the episode where the Cylons ambush Roslin's party and kill her priestess friend. The cylons are on top of the hill firing down at them...and they look scary as shit. So scary that I definitely want one in my office.


So it's either a life size Cylon or I buy a mannequin (or a real doll?), dress it up as Starbuck, and prop it up in the corner of my office. That wouldn't be too creepy would it? Wait, where's everybody going? Hey, come on I was just kidding. Really. No really. I wouldn't do that. Most likely. Probably not. Possibly.

I might.

You never know.

Anyway...

Work is hell and I'm not feeling well. I've got sixty pounds of paper on my desk and no shovel to move it with. So I have to start crackin'. I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon, but I've got a meeting tomorrow morning and am already scheduled to be on the road tomorrow afternoon so if I plan on getting anything done, well, now's the time.

Ain't that a novel idea?

Now's the time.

Now With 100% More Bilbo Baggins

I have $12.

I mean, I always have $12, but today I have only $12.

I usually spend more than that on lunch. (Sidenote: Luckily my secretary was kind enough to bring me lunch today.)

I've collected on a half dozen loans in the past few weeks, but I've run through all that already. I do have a $500 outstanding chit that I could call in, but that would be in extremely poor taste. So I won't. Not quite yet anyhow. I'm still owed a few dollars here and there, but that will come when it comes.

I dropped $350 on BlackJack in AC on Saturday. Another $200 experimenting with online poker last night. No more gambling for me anytime soon.

My OP account is dipping dangerously low as well. I have $2000 in checks out that have not been cashed yet, and once they have I'm damn near in the hole on that. I emptied out several smaller investment accounts and dumped that back into the OP account, but that's nearly all gone. I'll owe $1,200 on the fence when they do that. My Sideshow bill for the summer is already up around $1,300 between the Ironman and Hellboy stuff. I have nothing else pending. But that's still quite a bit.

As of this morning I have ready access to $2.8 million dollars...that I will never be able to touch. I have several bank and brokerage accounts that total over $100,000...none of which I can do anything with. There's $5,000 sitting in an envelope not 6 inches from my keyboard...I can not take a single penny without accounting for it.

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Integrity. What a bitch.

So the only real question now is...

Do I spend $7,900 on a life size Cylon replica? Or do I...wait, no, those of you that know me know there isn't really another option there.

I guess the only real question is where the fuck am I going to put it?

ADDENDUM FOR GALACTICA FANS: Yes it does light up and make 'the noise', no there is no chance they'll be making a life-size Starbuck replica...although how f'ing cool would that be?

Generation What The Fuck?

We had an interesting conversation on the drive down to Atlantic City last night. Vilaboy said something about how something he did back in high school was pretty stupid. And Jeremiah said something about how he wishes he knew then what he knows now. I laughed and reminded them that a great deal of what they know now, I knew then...and told them...and they just didn't listen.

We got a brief laugh out of that.

The guys also decided that my hobbies symbolize the dream life of any thirteen year old boy. I get to spend tons of money on comic books and go-go dancers and never feel bad about any of it.

We got a long laugh out of that.

Friday night I took my little sister down to Jersey City to meet up with Tim and see my cousin's play. She was in Footloose this time, she wasn't in it as much as she was in the other one, but it was still fun. It made me feel real, real old though. And the lead actor was good, but he reminded me more of Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny then of Kevin Bacon in Footloose.

I finished the first season of Battlestar Galctica and just picked up the next two seasons. I'm probably going to finish Season Three before Season Four is on DVD. I'll figure something out. I'm not a very patient man. My two Hard Hero Daredevil's arrive and they look great, I also got my Iron Man Hard Hero Artist's Proof and it looks good too.

I lost $350 in the casino last night. That's not that bad considering I was down almost $900 at one point. I was just getting hot at blackjack when Vilaboy spilt his beer all over the table, suddenly everyone at the table was in the tank again. It took me a little while longer to work my way back. We left a little after 2:30, we took a detour to hunt down some WaWa Chocolate Milk and by the time I dropped everyone off and got home it was about 5 A.M. I watched the last episode of Battlestar Galactica Season 1, took a nap in my recliner, puttered around for a bit then finally turned in around 7. I was up at 11 and hung out with the kids for the rest of the afternoon.

I'm busy as hell lately, hemorrhaging money, and generally having the time of my life.

What are you going to do?

And I'm All Bruce Wayne Like A Motherfucker

"You know sir this is going to be a six point ticket."


"That's ok officer, I don't have a license anyway."


"Please step out of the vehicle sir."


"What? Was it something I said?"

What?

There is absolutely no way that can be correct.

Not possible.

There is no way that it can be time already.

It's just not possible. Hell it seems like we just got started. It can't be over just yet.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go deeper. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon. And I may just go deeper down than I've ever gone before. But...

But I will come back. I will.

As I sit here amongst this muck and muddle I'm reminded that exhaustion takes on many shapes and forms. Not an hour ago I forgot how to drink. I picked up a can of Sprite and promptly missed my mouth by about a mile. As luck would have it the liquid managed to elude my shirt and go straight down my collar drenching my undershirt while leaving my button down dry as a bone. I swear I've drank from a can before, but for the moment I simply could not remember how. So before I forget how to drive a car, I exeunt, with the most sincere intentions of returning tomorrow.

We will see, we will see.

"You need this."

"I neither need nor want this."

"When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that this is the way the world is supposed to be?"

"When I can't think of another way to try and change it."

So Say We All

"Shoot him."

"Reconsider."

"Ok...shoot him now."

~

"Do you ever do anything the easy way?"

"I just puked in a bush, what do you think?"
~

"Your jobs easier than they used to be?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"Good, good. You all making more money than you used to?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Great, good for you. Company's running smoother and making more money than it used to."

"I guess."

"That wasn't a fucking question... Your jobs easier, you're making more money, the company's running smoother and making more money. I must be doing something right. So how about you shut the fuck up and get back to work before you piss me off?"

~

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"So you don't think I should do it?"

"I didn't say that. I said that if I was you I would do anything but that. But I'm not you. So go ahead. But..."

"But what?"

"If I were you..."

Hush

"If he was gay, I'd fuck him."

"You mean if you were gay, you'd fuck him."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

So...

I wish I could draw. I can sort of write. Nothing special, but enough that I could string a few lines together to get me from one picture to the next. I know I can write dialogue. People get pissed off because sometimes I talk like I'm in a movie. But anyone can write dialogue. Shit we all do just that everyday. I can write action though too. And brief written action, plus dialogue, plus pictures...well you've got yourself a graphic novel right there. So I wish I could draw. I wish I could sing too, but that's another story for another day.

So today I added Hellbaby and matching Black Panther classic and modern statues to my collection. I picked up my fence permit and mispronounced the lady who works in that office's name so bad it was a wonder they didn't tear the permit right up. Apparently they stopped delivering my mail sometime last week, I didn't notice till they slipped a notice under my door. I went down to the post office and they handed me two weeks worth of junk mail. I took it and tossed it all in the trash, told them very nicely they could do the same with the rest of it.

There were 3 bills however. The first was from the IRS. Apparently they've just decided I owe them $153 from two years ago. Going to have to take care of that. The second was from my landscaping company. They charged me $315 for a "spring clean up" which last year I think cost $100. On top of that they charged me $100 for "leaf pick up" which last year was included, add to that the $2,700 for the other work they're doing and I might as well fold up shop and fuck off. The plumbers sent me a bill, and apparently the fixing of the original problem cost very little, but since they broke the toilet in the process they also charged me to buy a new toilet and install it.

Yeah.

I would say that everyone can sort of just fuck off for awhile now, except that I'm still in a pretty decent mood. I saw my high school friends just last week, I was talking to Goldberg just a little while ago (he was making fun of my life size Iron Man statue), and though I miss the Antioch kids I'm sure I'll see them soon. I've been able to spend a lot of time with the kids too even though it's been busy as hell. The Rookie calls me just about everyday he's so damn bored. I still call him and little sister everyday anyway.

So yeah, life is...uh...good? Can that be right? I know I'm missing out on a lot of stuff, and I know I want to work on that. But seriously...this ain't half bad.

"He offered me $100 for a handjob."

"And?"

"What do you mean and?"

Fuzzy Wuzzy Wasn't So Fuzzy Was He Bitches?

"Two weeks ago we talked about Harry Potter, two days ago we talked about world economies, and tonight we're talking about handjobs. Where did I lose the plot here?" - T.O. Hob

Stay with me on this one.


So last week was busy, nothing particularly good or bad happened, but it was busy.


I felt pretty good too. I was pretty much all set for getting a fence installed, the bathroom was fixed (though the damage was already done), and the backyard was getting worked on. Add to that the fact that I was nearly broke and had just purchased a life size Iron Man statue and I was doing pretty good all things considered.


Wednesday night I went out for a drink (or ten) by myself because I was on the edge and needed to unwind. Mission accomplished.


Friday night the guys met up at my house to play cards, I lost, but we had a few drinks and more than a few laughs after and even though the night was peppered with bad news and disappointments I was still doing pretty well.


Saturday I think I spent more time thinking than I did doing anything else. Not that that's a bad thing, but it was a change of pace from the previous few days where I'd barely had time to shit nevermind think.

I picked up a bronze Hellboy bust today and rearranged the collection a little bit. I also picked up Season 1 of Battlestar Galactica on DVD since I never got around to borrowing it from my cousin. I figure I'll start watching a little of it tonight if I get the chance (and don't worry I got the mini-series too so I know where to start).

Tomorrow I've got to get some of this shit off my desk, pick up my fence permit with any luck, and then I've got to get some things sorted before I can move on to whatever is next.

I may actually sit down and write a little in the next few days, I've stalled lately. Not that that is exactly shocking. It was also so good to see everybody that I might try and make it a more frequent thing.

And I do know I keep saying this...but I really am do for a genuine day off or two. Maybe even a vacation. I hear Moldova is beautiful this time of year.

So yeah...I'm totally batshit insane and somewhat out of control. I've spent the majority of my free time the past two weeks reading Batman comics, playing Bocce Ball and drinking iced tea.

It's not that bad when I put it like that.

Not that bad at all.

"We have nothing in common."

"Sure we do."

"Like?"

"We both like that I have money and neither one of us can stand my brother."

"That is true."

Call Me A Gentleman By Comparison

Let's look at this way, I've been wearing the same clothes since Friday. Not because I don't have anything to change into, but because for some reason I just don't give a fuck. I haven't spent a single dollar in the past 36 hours. I've worked a little, visited the kids, cleaned the house a little, showered three times, but never changed my clothes.

I think, as a night taken as a whole, Friday night was the best night I've had in quite awhile. I got dominated at cards and I was the only one who stuck it out for the long haul who didn't have a little too much to drink. But it was a good night. Even though there was a lot of bad shit floating around and too many people I haven't seen in entirely too long we all had a good time, we all laughed, a lot. I don't know. So much shit happens, and we all survive. Hell we all excel. Makes you wonder what it would take to really slow one of us down. Makes you wonder how much it's going to suck when we actually find out.

So here I go. Getting ready for another week from hell, trying to scratch together some cash to fill this sudden void, and trying to figure out what to do next.

And I might even toss on a clean shirt eventually.

Yet Another Reason I Will Likely Die Alone

Alright, so I'm a geek. I know. And right this second I'm a broke as a joke geek. For the first time in a long time I've got less than $100 in my pocket, I just spent $5G on work in my backyard, another few hundred for work in my house. Add to that my weekly go-go bar/comic book budget and I'm moving through a fairly large amount of cash pretty quickly. I decided to change around my Collection display in the office a little, and possibly have a custom wall unit built while moving some of the items and cases back to my house. I figured I would pick up a couple of nice items I hadn't had room for lately. Whoosh-there goes $3G. I'm actually thinking about cancelling the Windlass helmets I pre-ordered last week because they sort of look shitty, so that would put $1,500 back in play. Then I saw something that shook my world. And I had to have it.

I...had...to...have...it.

And like anything I had to have I wasted no time in getting it.

When the first batch starts to roll into the states in mid-summer for $2,500 I will be the proud owner of...

Now I know, it's not that impressive...until you realize that it's over SEVEN FEET TALL.

*giddy laugh mixed with girlish giggle*

SEVEN FEET TALL!

Holy shit...I have a problem.

Huh?

So...

The backyard project is running into the $5G territory and I haven't actually done anything yet. The plumbing conundrum has become the plumbing issue and is bordering on a plumbing catastrophe. I've now developed electrical issues as well, my TV and XBox may be fried despite the expensive surge protector...we will see, either way they can't be used just now. To top it off the tenant got a labrador retriever puppy who barks all night (which doesn't really bother me) but also barks all morning when I'm trying to get some sleep. Plus it's a very small apartment so as soon as the dog grows a little, bye-bye tenant.

I've got bids in on several thousand dollars worth of higher end stuff for "The Collection" and have asked my step-father to quote me a price on replacing my three display cabinets with a more substantial wall unit.

My allergies are killing me, I'm sore all over, my desk is swamped, everyone in the office is cranky, and for the life of me I can't find a motherfucking boat for rent.

So all in all that makes yesterday a fairly typical Monday, which in and of itself should tell you something about the way things are going right now. And the fact that none of it seems to be bothering me all that much should tell you something too.

What exactly it should tell you I have no idea.

Travel well friends.

Frig

This is what I am saying. When you just think you are done fucking with life, life comes along and fucks you. Best part? I learned so long ago that life can only fuck with you so much before you figure a way to fuck it back.

My name is Christian Palomba... and I'm still standing.

What else you got?

I Believe In...

"I've seen this before."

"What?"

"We've been here, don't you remember?"

"Oh, dude...don't get like this again."

"No, really. Don't any of you remember. We've done this before."

"Come on man, get away from there."

There is a way.

"Didn't any of you hear that?"

"I didn't hear anything. Get away from there."

You can end this.

"I can save them?"

"Save who? Who are you talking to?"

I did not say you could save anyone.

"But you said there was a way."

"I said there was a way? What are you talking about?"

I said there was a way to end this...I did not say it was a good way.

"Then it's not a way. This ends on my terms or not at all."

So be it.


"SOMEWHERE IN THE ENDLESS NIGHT...LIKE A BELLOW FROM A WOUNDED BEAR...THE ANSWER COMES." - Batman, The Dark Knight Returns

See...

"I dreamt of you last night."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean it wasn't just you. It was you and me...and other people too. Not just you, and not just me."

"And?"

"We were, we were sitting. And I...I reached over and tapped you on the shoulder."

"You touched me?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"I know. But you didn't really respond. It was like you just continued talking about what you were talking about except that now you were talking to me."

"What was I talking about?"

"This t-shirt you were wearing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was weird when I wasn't talking to you, when I was just looking at you, you weren't wearing the t-shirt..."

"What?"

"Oh, no. I mean, you were wearing something..."

"I'd hope so."

"Just not that t-shirt. But when you started talking about it, you were suddenly wearing it."

"Ok. What was special about the t-shirt?"

"I have no idea. I was just looking at you the entire time trying to figure out what the significance of me being there with you was."

"You and me and other people."

"What?"

"You said there were other people there."

"Oh yeah, there were. At one point this guy was sitting between us and we were talking around him, and then there were a bunch of other people I know there, but they weren't talking to us either. It's like they were all on auto-pilot, and if we didn't interrupt they didn't acknowledge we were there."

"So I was just like them?"

"What? No. You were..."

"When you touched me on the shoulder I continued talking about what I was talking about except that now I was talking to you, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I was just like them. I was on auto-pilot until you touched me."

"Shit. I hadn't even thought of that."

"Did anything else happen?"

"No, not really. I just sort of sat there listening to you until I woke up."

"Was there anyone else there?"

"Yeah...yeah. Iron Man was there."

"Oh."