Horn Tampers?

At 1:30 A.M. I left the office.

At 2:09 A.M. the direct line to the alarm monitoring system went off. Alarm Code: Horn Tampers.

At 2:13 A.M. as I was watching a DVRed episode of Chuck my cellphone rang. A man asked me for the password. I told him. He verified and then asked my E.T.A. to the scene of the alarm and for distinguishing characteristics that would let the police know I was the owner and not the intruder. I told him I'd be the fat angry looking motherfucker and that they'd know me when they see me.

At 2:19 A.M. I arrived on scene.

At 2:23 A.M. I contacted the alarm monitoring company to inquire about the location of the police and begin to survey the scene.

At 2:27 A.M. the police showed up. The officer takes a quick look around and backs me up as I enter the building. We do a quick sweep to verify that the building is all clear.

At 2:34 A.M. we reach the conclusion that there has been an obvious although inexplicable device malfunction resulting in a false alarm. The police take my name and leave.

At 2:54 A.M. I post this entry.

Zero Year is off to a great start.