Dark Days Postponed

"Hello again."

"What? Where the bloody hell have you been?"

"Well I've visited Sheol, Gehenna, Tartarus, Hades, Abaddon, and Infernus. Been to Xibalba, Metnal is nice this time of year. Stopped in at Naraka, Di Yu, and Jigoku. Told Yama you said hello, Yami is looking splendid but she's been a real bitch lately. Quick stop over at Dante's to talk shop and here I am back where I belong, right as rain. Why? Did I miss anything?"

"Hob's gotten a little out of hand."

"Oh dear. Good thing I'm back then."

Last nights shivers and twitches turned into an all out fever at some point. I was bleeding again and my head still hurt. But when I finally passed out sometimes past three this morning I did so with all sorts of things running through my mind.

The last few nights things have been particularly tough. When I'm balanced The Voices all sound like me, I may not have as much control over them as I do with my other thoughts, but I know that they're really just more random thoughts. When I'm off they take on a life of their own, they ramble and warble and talk to each other. They argue. They fight. They taunt me. But even then they don't scare me. I'm still in there, I still have some semblance of control. It may be a circus, but I'm the ringleader. And, for the most part, they still sound like me. But...when I'm tired, when I'm on the verge of sleep, everything changes. The voices aren't my own, some are people I know. Some are strangers. And it's horrible. That's when the noises come. Loud thundering footsteps, metal grinding on metal, bellowing horns, huge crashing thuds, and something that sounds like wet burlap being torn apart. It's terrifying. And it happens almost every single god damn night when I try and get to sleep. Sometimes it's short and merciful, other times it's not.

So last night as I tried to get to sleep, so many things already beating on me, already feeling sick and being about as tired as I've ever been, I just wasn't ready for it when it started. And then something funny happened. Just as the screaming started, just as the bellows started to well up in the distance, a single loud voice raised up above all the rest and shouted, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" And suddenly everything went quiet, and a moment later I drifted quite peacefully off to sleep.

When I woke up a few hours later I still felt like shit. I was still exhausted, my entire body was sore, and it took a great deal of effort just to move. I called into the office and told them I wouldn't be in till later this afternoon and went back to bed just to lay down for awhile. To gather myself. And as I lay there something dawned on me, the dark cloud which has hovered over me for the past several days has lifted. I'm still a mess, but I'm slightly less of a mess. I can handle certain things that need to be handled right now. I'm ready to deal with the devil, and make sure that I come out on top.

It is The Old Ghosts day afterall, and it would seem that this time they're working with me instead of fighting against me.

Surprise, surprise.

Happy Halloween.