Questions

"What if I love her?"

"You don't love her."

"I know I don't love her, but what if I did?"

"I don't see the point of discussing something that we both know isn't true."

"You think I'm in love with her."

"What?"

"You think I'm in love with her, you think I'm a total fool."

"I know you're a total fool, but I don't think you're in love with her. You're not in love with her. Right?"

"I think I love her. But I'm not in love with her."

"Jesus Christ."

"What?"

"This is going to be one of those end of the world things right? This is the harbinger that heralds the coming of a monster that sucks the fingers of light from the world and fills us with the darkness of a million lonely nights or some shit like that."

"What?"

"Look, you may be new around here, but I've been around the block a few times. Let me clear up a few things for you. You don't love her. You know you don't love her. I know you don't love her. She sure as shit knows you don't love her. She may be great, and amazing, and fantastic. But you don't love her. And you're probably not supposed to. So forget about that shit. Pine for a little while, bemoan the cruelty of the feckless god that guides you and the misery of being a romantic with a lonely heart. Then man up and get over that shit. Sure she's special. But she's not some angel or goddess or the love of your pathetic little life. She's a cute girl who is fun to be around. End of story. You don't need to fight an epic battle or commit some great act of bravery to get her to notice you. You don't need to save her to save the world. You want to be enveloped in a story of romance triumphing over great adversity read a fucking book. You want to fight the demonic hordes and the forces of darkness buy a fucking XBox, but stop trying to turn my goddamn world into some mythical land of knights and dragons and damsels in goddamn distress. I got enough shit to worry about this week without having to save another one of your dumbasses."

"But..."

"Don't say it."

"What if I love her?"

"Motherfucker."