Salutations and Greetings.

Hello.

My name is Christian.

Some people call me Thomas. or Bobby. or Edward.

I've been known as King, Kong, Rigby, The Beast, Lazarus, Hob, TheOldHob, Futurerem, CKNK, Sarge, SGT, Chubbs, Sgt.Chubbs, and Paddy.

I was PigHeart for awhile. The Angel for a spell.

I've been called Dad, and Mom, and Papa Chris.

I avoided being Johann by a hair.

I've been known as Sinner, Ghost-Be-Gone, He Who Haunts Your Dreams.

I was The Force, Big Beelzebub, St.Christopher, Steve from Brooklyn, The Other Yitzhak Rabin, and for a second, somewhere in there, I was just plain Chris.

Usually I'm Palomba.

So though I be a man of many names, in truth I have just one.

I.

And boy is I fucked.