Awwww-k-wwwwaaard

1. "You know what that is?"

"No. What?"

"A rake handle."

(long pause)

"I don't know what that means."

"You know, a rake handle."

(makes raking motion)

"Oh."

2. "Hey man, can you pass me one of those business cards?"

"Yeah, but only if I get to touch your..."

"What?"

"Uhhhh...."

3. "Hey."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Good. What are you doing?"

"I was just going to bed."

"What?"

"I was going to call it an early night."

"So you're not going to come?"

"No. Sorry. I'll have to catch you next time."

"I call you, and you're not going to come?"

"Really. I can't. I'm sorry."

"Fine."

4. "What is it?"

"I don't know."

"Every day this is. Just tell me."

"I can't."

"You can."

"Ok. Every day I come in here, every day. And I see you and I just think, wow. She's perfect. And I want to say something, or I want to do something, but..."

"You don't."

"I don't."

"Why?"

"You know that voice inside your head that tells you when something you want to do is a bad idea?"

"Yes."

"Right now, he's screaming."