Issues: Or How I Need To Learn To Take A Joke

"You haven't really lived until you spend all morning vomiting up orange juice and stale granola." - T.O. Hob

Issues. Hmmph.

I think we've played this game once before, someone makes a joke, a genuinely funny joke of which I appreciate the humor...and then I spend all night thinking about it.

So last night Matt made a joke about me having issues. I said something about how if no one called in to the show I would go home and be depressed and sad.

I was kidding.

Matt counters with (completely losing his gameface) "Oh, so that will be your issue THIS week?"

Which of course is funny, except that last week I had a lot of "issues" and it put me in a rather raw mood. Coming into a good mood this week the last thing I wanted to hear about was last week...or to suddenly find out that maybe people knew about my "issues".

(Not that I try to keep any of my issues secret...in fact apparently I put them all up on the internet for both acquaintences and complete strangers to read...yeah, I'm talking about you.)

It's funny though because I can't tell if he actually did, or was just making the obvious joke. The glaringly obvious stare you in the face joke. It's hard to tell with Matt sometimes, whether he's taking the easy joke or working the complex one.

See last week I couldn't make it to the bar with the news crew, and I said something to Rob about me not being in the mood for it. It's egocentric of me to think that I would even come up in a conversation once I've left the room. I'm one of those out-of-sight out-of-mind sort of people where people don't pay me much thought unless I'm sitting right in front of them.

But all it would have taken was for Rob to walk into the bar and say to Matt and Julie, "Chris isn't coming because he's fucked up." And for either one of them to respond in a way that belies exactly how little they've ever thought of me, exactly how much they loathe even my simplest presence, exactly how bothersome they find me, "Yeah, that guy has fucking issues."

End of story.

I'm a pariah all of a sudden. Furthermore...what exactly would they think those issues are? How easily can any of a million things that have happened in the last few months be completely miscontrued as being something they are not? Hate to break it to you pal, but around here that happens an awful lot.

Of course it's probably all in my head. But...

Paranoia? Ain't that a pip?

I think the only thing that could have been worse then making that obvious joke would have been not making it. Because then I would have spent all night wondering why the joke wasn't made.

You starting to get the picture folks? I'm completely out of my fucking mind.

But last night was still fun...we still kicked ass.

Ain't that some shit?