We Won't Stop Until Somebody Calls The Cops And Even Then We'll Start Again And Just Pretend That Nothing Ever Happened

"so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i'll be your friend" - Kimya Dawson, Loose Lips

Uh...yeah. Where do I start? The melancholy caught me just a few minutes ago when I realized how tired I actually am. I've stayed out all night entirely too many times in the past few weeks, this of course made worse by the fact that I stayed out totally by myself.

Real me is going to interject in this entry for a moment to point out that it's 11:00 on a Saturday night and one of the guys who worked for me just called to ask a question about next week. It doesn't bother me that he called, I'd always rather someone asks a question than be uncertain, what bothers me is that he waited till 11:00 on a Saturday night to call the office to ask a question. He just assumed I would be here. I'm beginning to think these fuckers take me for granted. Now back to your regularly scheduled entry.

I've also burned through a fortune in the past few weeks. Not even a small fortune, just a regular sized one. Apparently go-go dancers and comic book statues were hobbies meant for far wealthier people than I. Add to that the fact that I just paid off the balance on the bronze statue I have coming and just hired an artist in California to do a commission for me and I've pretty much run through my hobby budget for the next five years. The tenants moved out this week and I began ripping up the carpet upstairs today. I figure I'll refinish the hardwood floors to make them all nice, paint up the living room and two bedrooms, and tear up the kitchen to turn it into a lounge. The last thing I'll do is refinish the bathroom. I'm not going to pull the stove out I'm just going to cover it up somehow that way I can turn it back into an apartment at some point. That should all cost a shitload of money I don't currently have.

I was thinking of all this and watching my plans for this evening fall apart when I realized I haven't really seen my friends much in the last month or so. Everything seems to be whipping by real fast.

Real me interjecting again. Sitting at my desk just now I heard gun shots that didn't sound that far away. This isn't particularly unusual around here, but still rare enough that you notice, and these sounded a whole lot closer than usual.

So things were whipping by real fast. This year is going to be one of the more difficult since I've been here, and I'm not looking forward to it. If I'm broke all year it's going to suck even worse. Vilaboy is getting married in a few weeks, and Sean in a few months. That will pretty much make me the only single guy left. Eating right is proving to be pretty easy, although I haven't been to the grocery store this week so right now I'm sort of fucked (and hungry). Excercising is proving to be a little more difficult. At first I was doing too much for me. Now I'm not doing enough. It seems like every few days my legs hurt too much to get on the treadmill and then I seem to lose what little progress I've made. I cracked my left hand on the punching bag, so that part of the workout pretty much consists of me throwing right crosses and attempting to bob and weave. I'm also bleeding more for some reason. I would have thought it would go the other way. But it hasnt't. I'm not nervous yet, but soon...

Anyway...I'm packing up here in the office in just a few minutes. Going to go find something to eat (something unhealthy at this point since where can you get no fat cottage cheese at midnight on a Saturday? No seriously, I'm asking. Anybody?) then go home and clean the house a little bit, maybe even try to get some exercise in. Then...hopefully, a peaceful sleep.

Tomorrow I'll try and actually do something.

"After all the talk of love, and loneliness, and the whatnot this is the corniest emotion I've felt in a long time. I feel like I accomplished something, and although I know I haven't the comfort I feel is in just that. Even though I haven't done a thing...I feel like I have. Welcome to the rest of my life..." - Palomba, from Hail To The King Baby, Monday July 6th, 2004