Restless Nights And Oh So Long Days

I don't want to talk about today. I don't want to talk about how fucked up things are at work, or how fucked up my finances are, or how fucked up my family is. I don't want to talk about strippers and go-go dancers. I don't want to talk about how far apart I feel I've grown from so many people I care so much about. I don't want to talk about how tired, and old, and alone I feel. I don't want to talk about the end of the world.

I do want to talk about today. I want to talk about how great my job is, how I don't have to worry about anything because I know I'm good enough to handle it no matter how fucked up it gets. I want to talk about money, and how I've enjoyed every penny I've spent and earned every dollar I've made. I want to talk about how happy I am I get to spend so much time with my mother, even though she's crazy, my father, even though he's a jerk, and Tim, even though he's Tim. I still don't really want to talk about strippers and go-go dancers but that's because I think I'm just going to write a book, it would be easier. I do want to talk about how far apart I feel I've grown from so many people I care so much about because no matter how far apart we grow they're still my friends, and I will always care very much about them. I do want to talk about how tired, and old, and alone I feel...because at the very least that means I can still feel, and sometimes that's all I need.

I will talk about the end of the world, because it doesn't scare me...not anymore.