Why Never Is A Funny Word...

"Factitious...funny word isn't it? Fak-teesh-us, doesn't exactly roll right off the tongue now does it?" - Laz Jones

Why do you haunt me? Can't you just leave me be? I've gone down into the darkness just to get away from you...but you're still there. I just can't see you as clearly.

I think that makes it worse.

I said never. Never would I sink so low to think of it all again. I was over that. I was past it. I was moving on.

I'd blocked myself out from so many things, kept myself safely tucked away in the corners of mine own mind. I was a wall.

Somewhere along the line you spend so much time with certain people in certain places that you begin to think the only things you have in common are the places themselves, and then, when you lose the place you lose the people.

They have to go somewhere.

I'd sealed off that place, the hole where I leave all the people I used to know, and tried not to pay it much thought. I descended into the darkness. Never bothering to come up for air.

As things begin to change I feel I need a breath. Just one.

But as I come up through that chamber, as I leave the darkness behind, they are all waiting. I see them there and I know.

I miss them.

Never.

I've always been too scared to try.

I was afraid before. I'm afraid now.

Someday I won't be...