Door to Door Express Package Delivery Service To The Phillipines

Talk about narrowing your field of expertise. I saw the title on the back of a truck on my way back from work this morning. I'm constantly amazed that I make money doing what I do, I have no idea how people with such a specific service make any money at all. And why the Phillipines? And what good does the truck really do you once you've hit coastline? Does it just sit there waiting for the Phillipines to send something back?

Anyway...so I'm tired, sick, and amazingly still not hungry but we won't harp on that instead we'll share a little of last night's dreams. I fell asleep at about two, was up at four, and then fell back asleep till five thirty or so. Which means I actually slept more than usual, but god damn did I have some odd dreams. It's funny because usually my strange dreams have more to do with me, and last night it was more like watching a movie.

First there was this really great (but really sad) dream about American Prisoners of War trying to escape from Japanese prison camps. It was really detailed, and really long, and didn't go at all like I would have written it. So when I woke up I wondered if I had really dreamed it or if I had left the television on and just barely watched it, but there were no war movies on last night, and as I think through the dream there are certain Palombonian charactersitics that let me know it was indeed one of my dreams.

I managed to make a cameo in my next dream. These kids were trying out for their high school basketball team, but they spilled jelly beans all over their coaches pick-up truck so he cut the little fuckers...from the team I mean. At some point I drove past the pick-up truck in my father's last Cadillac. But that was all.

The next dream actually frightened me. I think I've spoken of the noises in my apartment before, but I may have failed to mention that they disappeared for a bit and just recently came back. Last night I thought I started to hear them, but they were much louder than usual. Now I know I was awake when they started, but at some point I must have fallen asleep...but the noises continued into the first dream, which really threw me off. I didn't realize I was dreaming. And then there was someone in the apartment with me. Someone bad. But I was afraid to open my eyes and see who it was. It was like I was a little kid again thinking the monsters can't get me if I don't open my eyes. I hear this "person" stomping from the kitchen right past me and into the bedroom, the door smacking the wall hard as it's thrown open. Then the "person" stomps back towards the kitchen, passing me again. A second later I can tell "he's" standing by the door, a mere three feet from my head. Now I start to think logically. I'm 6'3" and weigh 300 lbs. I can tear most people apart with my bare hands. Who do I have to be afraid of? So I slowly open my eyes, but before I can even turn my head towards the door I spot my dining room window and see it's covered with a black garbage bag. I know I put my new blinds up weeks ago. At this point dream me realizes that real me is out like a light, and pops up off the bed. Standing by the door is a large black shape. A second later real me wakes up, already standing, and sees there is nothing there. My blinds are back where they are supposed to be. Standing there I realize that when I stood up in the dream I stood up in real life, and it just took a minute for my mind to catch up with my body. My heart was beating fast as hell, and I was sweating like a fucker. For the first time ever I was glad to be alone in my apartment.

Then there were the commercial dreams, which may have been the strangest of them all. First John Travolta was selling Mop & Glo floor cleaner, then Brad Pitt was selling Heineken (although I think that one actually happened), and finally the strangest of them all. I was either really hungry, or really horny when I fell asleep last night and I must not have noticed either one, but somewhere in between falling asleep and waking up I dreamed of Emmy Rossum & Minnie Driver doing a commercial for some kind of Granola Bar. In the dream there were two guys watching the commercial. The young guy (a slightly distorted version of me?) says, "They've sold out." And the older guy (I have a sneaking suspicion this might have been the first actual "sighting" of my old friend Hob) replies, "You haven't really lived until you spend all morning vomiting up orange juice and stale granola." Then Emmy began to vomit up dry granola while Minnie held her hair.

That last dream threw me so far off that I actually popped up off the couch and immediately began checking that I was in my apartment and not a sanitarium.

So doomed POWs, aspiring B-ballers, demonic visitors, vomiting teenage sexpots, and a mythical construct of my own imagination...all in all a rather average night inside my head.