The In Between 7:54 AM
"So, when are you going to do it?"
"Please tell me you're not talking about what I think you're talking about."
"Not when are you going to "do it", when are you going to do "it"?"
"I fail to see the distinction."
"You've been building up to something for the past ten months. Promising something. People expect some brilliant ending to this all."
"Well they're not going to get it."
"This is a story, stories end. You get to decide how it ends."
"Not yet I don't."
"I thought this is why we did all this."
"This was never about the end."
"Don't tell me it was about the beginning."
"No."
"Then what's it all about then, Alfie?"
"The In Between."
Entry posted by King Zero note [Add] www E-Mail this entry
Thursday, September 16th 2004
The Other Shoe And How It Dropped 10:44 PM
Something is very, very wrong. Something bad has happened. I don't know how I know, but I know.
I felt it tonight, in the car, while I was driving. I was thinking of 10:35. No idea why.
Then at 10:35 tonight I felt it. Something went wrong...with one of them. It could have been me. Something could have happened to me, but it didn't. At least I don't think it did. Something horrible happened to one of them.
So I'll say it again...
I can't stop the rain. I can't make the sun come out. But I can tell you it's only water, and there are worse things than being wet.
I would hope that would be enough, but I'm afraid tonight it might not be.
Remember I'm here if you need me.
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Still Standing 6:24 PM
There are a lot of ways for a truly awful day to begin, but for some reason God isn't happy with just choosing one of these ways for my awful days. He has to create entirely new and extraordinarily painful ways for my awful days to start. Here's an example.
A tree fell on my Cadillac this morning...
My company is hemorrhaging money by the tens of thousands, and although everyone assures me that's normal, it kind of bothers me that this is fucking normal.
Phone lines are acting up, computer is completely fucked, payroll can't count, and just about everyone is holding me up trying to see how much money they can shake out of me. That bumper jack I ordered for the garage two weeks ago? Lost on a truck in Minnesota. My new replacement couch they told me would be here last Friday? Probably not getting delivered till around Halloween. Any little bit of time I thought I would have off anytime soon? Sorry buddy, better put those plans in your back pocket for a bit.
Yeah that's right...and a fucking tree fell on my fucking Cadillac.
I'm lonely, bored, dying for something interesting to do. Poker night? Call it off! Can't find four people with the time to play some cards. Bar? Everyone's too busy, too angry, or just too far gone. Anything? Seriously anything? Not a chance.
Look, look, look, look, look...seriously. I don't know. I just don't know. I'm falling apart bit by bit, not sure of exactly what's going on or exactly what's happening to me. I manage to cajole a little bit of help out of God and it turns out to be the single worst decision I've ever made. Come on! For fucking my sake, when the hell is this going to let up?
I won't even bother asking what else could go wrong. There are still too many other things which could fall apart to even bother tempting God.
It's funny. So many other things could happen to make my day worse. But there's really only one thing that could happen to make my day better right now...and we all know that will never, ever happen.
Did I mention a fucking tree fell on my Cadillac?
Yeah.
So that's where we're at today. And it's still pretty early. Shit. You know what though? It's been a rough couple of days, a rought couple of months, a rough year when you get right down to it. It's all been pretty tough to deal with. But you know what?
I'm still standing.
Entry posted by King Zero note [Add] www E-Mail this entry
Wednesday, September 15th 2004
Gloria 11:06 PM
In Excelsis Deo...
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