Eh...Ok.

You know I always thought I'd get to work in the big city one day, just never thought it would be driving a bus.

We're so damn short people that I've inherited a troubled run from a driver who took a leave of absence, means I get to drive into downtown Manhattan twice a day.

I love the city.

I love driving in the city. When I drive a bus in New York I have a little game I like to play, it's called "I Don't Want To Hit Your Ass...But I Will." The premise is pretty simple, I don't want to hit your ass...but I will.

The average life expectancy in New York must be like 17 seconds (unless of course you have one of those stupid scooters and then you can just cut that in half, or if you're a tourist because then they let you live a few minutes longer so you can blow your cash on those little statues of the Empire State Building and coffe mugs that say I *Heart* NY). People just run into the middle of traffic, drive with no sense of order whatsoever,eat things from carts on street corners. I don't want to touch anything that gets sold from one of those carts, nevermind eat it, and I'll eat pretty much anything. Little kids on bicycles? Friggin' targets. I swear I saw this seven year old on a Schwinn swerving in and out of taxi cabs on Amsterdam Ave. this morning. Fuckin' retard had a helmet on. Sure his parents thought that was a sound investment, "Let's get little Stevie a shiny new bike helmet...and then throw his ass into the busiest streets this side of Trafalgar." Come on! You need the latest Batmobile just to get around safely in this city...forget the fucking bike helmet, how 'bout full body armor? Sure the helmet will help when the whinos start throwing glass bottles, but what good's it going to do when the crosstown squashes his ass?

Halloween...I love Halloween, it's my favorite holiday in my favorite month. Yesterday it just passed me by though. A day when grown men in costumes can simply wander the streets? In New York they just call that Monday.

I went to Best Buy the other night. Met the geekiest kid ever. He was just pacing the aisles like employees in the story tend to do, and he asked me if I had any questions. I was dumb enough to ask one. Talked to him for a good half hour about Xbox 360, I have no idea what the hell he was talking about. But I just keep nodding and smiling, kid seemed thrilled to have somebody to talk to. But he just keeps going, I keep trying to get away, but I want to be polite. And he just doesn't stop. My cell phone rang, I told him it was nice talkign to him, but I had to take the call. So he just stood there and waited! When I finished he goes, "So where were we?" The Twilight Zone perhaps? His manager walks by and checks to see if everythings ok, I'm trying to slip him a note saying "SEND HELP" but the kid just tells the guy "I'm just helping this customer." And keeps talking... It's like an episode of MTV's Boiling Points, but there is no point. I'm trying to be nice because this kid must be so bored and so lonely at this point that having somebody to talk to is the highlight of his day. Finally one of his co-workers notices and steps in. This very polite young lady walks over and literally takes the kid by the arm to say hello. This girl was kind of young, but pretty, and she's literally hanging on the kid to give me a chance to get away...AND HE SHRUGS HER OFF! Finally I've had it, I shake the kids hand, say thanks for all the help man but I really have got to be going and head for the check-out. He follows me for like three steps before giving up and going back to pacing the aisles. I felt really bad.

I don't talk to the kids on my busses much when I have to drive. But at the very least I say hello and goodbye. Girl gets on the bus yesterday morning, probably about seventeen years old, I say good morning...she says nothing. Goes to get off the bus, I say have a good day...she says nothing. Gets on this morning, I say good morning...she says nothing. Fucking kids. If I was ever that rude to anyone, I'd be completely embarassed for myself. At the very least you smile or nod, or give some sort of acknowledgement. No one deserves to be treated as if they aren't there...even me.

Anyhow...show tonight, going to be a good one. I mean how could it not be when Georgie boy found the one single solitary conservative Republican in New Jersey and named him to the friggin' Supreme Court. I'm fired up, rarin' to go.

You can't stop me...you can't even slow me down.