Decisions, Delusions, Disappointments, and Other Words That May Or May Not Start With "D"

First things first. Rumor has it that Tim has just landed a job with a major insurance company, good for him, he's already such a big shot that's he's not returning my calls. I just RSVPed to my cousin Steven's wedding, I'm sure it will be a good time, and by good time I mean that if you know my family you know how bad of an idea it is to put two Palomba's in a room together nevermind two hundred. Turi is working on building a wall unit for my office. It's going to be something wicked and it will hold my ever growing collection. I'm excited. I've decided that the centerpieces of the collection will be three items I don't even have yet. The first being the legendary Matt Rose Hellboy 1:1 bust which I just won off ebay at a pretty good price, I hope the item is in as good condition as it is described. The second will be the #4 Ol' Scratch Bronze from the Shiflett Brothers. As I like to remind anyone who will listen even if they don't know what it means Richard Taylor from WETA got the first one, director Peter Jackson got the third one, and the fourth one? Right here baby. Well not yet, but in four to six weeks or so. And the third piece will be the IronMan 1:1 from Sideshow. This probably won't be out till the fall. But I can wait. I'm trying to learn patience.

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The Antioch Team outing for tomorrow fell apart. I'm pretty disappointed because I miss everybody and it would be good to see them right about now. But at the same time I know I'll get to see everyone soon one way or the other. Still, you can't help but notice that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you wonder if a good run has come to an end. If something that once was is now no more. I know that I fucked up this outing. I just haven't had it the past few weeks, haven't been my usual self I guess, but I'll be more on the ball next time. Yes indeed. Next time.

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Money is becoming an issue. Mainly because I want it to be. Gas prices are out of control which means a lot of the excess income we had is going down the toilet, but we'll still make far more than we need if you ask me. I tried a funny thing this year by switching over to direct deposit and splitting my check in three. I get a couple of bucks every week, a few hundred goes into savings and few hundred goes into an operating account. Previously I'd only saved whatever I couldn't find a fun way to spend by the end of the year. That may sound stupid, but that usually left me with quite a chunk. Then I bought a house...bye-bye savings. That was in '06, in '07 I had a $35,000 tax bill to take care of. And I still managed to bank low five figures. This year, despite the spending I've made an effort to save. Between the collection, several thousand dollars in home improvements, go-go dancers, and just general moneys I've spent I've burned through roughly $35,000 in the past few months. At the same time I haven't spent a penny of the money that I made this year. So in reality...I'm even. I haven't made any money, but despite all the crap I've spent money on, I haven't lost money either. Problem is...it's only June. So I'll be reassessing my budget rather shortly. I sort of enjoy things more when I pretend like I'm broke, but I know that's only because I'm playing with a pretty substantial safety net. I've been broke before and really being broke is no fun...obviously.

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Another problem recently has been my ridiculous weight. I'm up around 375lbs nowadays. That's disgusting, but the truth is it's never really bothered me. I've never really thought about it. I was disgusting at 200 lbs 10 years ago. I'll be disgusting if I ever get down around that again. I'm ugly, I know that, but it doesn't bother me. I don't think about it. It's sort of a joke really. It doesn't stop me, or even slow me down. But now being fat is starting to be a problem. I had some health problems a few months back, nothing major and in fact I found out that my health is a hell of a lot better than should be expected. But the doctor made a good point, if you're in good health now imagine how you'd be if you lost some weight? And that if I've been lucky so far why continue to risk it? I knew he was right, but somehow, for months I haven't done anything about it. So now I've made a decision...I need to do something. What? I don't know. But something. And I need to start right now.

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What else? Social life is non-existent. Not just because of work, but because, well for no good real reason. It seems like no one is around lately, but I guess that's not really true either. Last weekend I went to Wizard World and my cousin's graduation, weekend before that I spent almost all of with the kids, weekend before that I think we went to Atlantic City, weekend before that I think we played cars and went to the bar. That means even though I feel like I haven't seen anyone in a month...I've actually been pretty busy. Odd.

So yeah, I don't know. Got some shit to sort out in my head tonight. Few things to try and figure out as we go. Not the end of the world really. Not yet anyhow.