P For Palomba or P.S.- Nietzsche Was An Asshole And So Are You

"Quis custodiet
ipsos custodes." - Juvenal, Satires, VI, 347

"Oft the query of the studious mind,
are we all dumb, or are we just blind?" - Epistocles

"God it feels like the whole world done fell in." - Lazarus Jones

"You ain't kidding Lazzy." - T.O. Hob

I am so fucked.

I really don't know how to explain it.

Let's put it this way. I've done some things recently that I'm not too proud of. But I've also done some things that I shouldn't be too proud of...but am.

Confusing, right?

I miss my puppy. The Tuck is currently boarding with the parents because my closing went long and my landlord wouldn't let me keep him. A week ago I expected to have a house and a puppy at this time...instead I have neither.

I've given up some of the moral high ground so I could understand a few things better, so I could defend myself against a lot of what is going on. It doesn't change everything, it just changes some things. But some things it changes too much.

We had a plan. The problem is one of us stuck to it, and one of us didn't. And as it happens with things like plans when you try and veer of from it the momentum ends up taking you in the complete opposite direction, further from the plan then you ever intended to be. But when this sudden veering off of sorts catches the other parties in your plan by surprise it makes things that much worse. Dangerously so actually.

We're in a spot of trouble. I guarantee things will get much messier before they get much better.

I'm devouring books like they were candy, yearning for stories even if they aren't mine. I've run out of things to talk about, run out of tales to tell, run out of people to tell them too.

It's cold in here and I'm feeling awfully alone.

But I feel strong.

Fucking strong.

I need to call some people. Need to see some shit. Need to get my god damn head clear before something bad happens.

Nobody needs to get hurt.


"Battle not
with monsters,
lest ye become
a monster,

and if you gaze
into the abyss,
the abyss gazes
also into you." - Nietzsche