A Very Jewish Christmas

"How does a man who knows so little, know about so much?" - T.O. Hob

"It ain't the parts kid, it's the wiring." - T.O. Hob

Belated Merry Christmas.

And an early Happy New Year.

Strange days.

Christmas Eve... Dream of interviewing Bon Jovi at a strange radio station while WRSU News Team mingles with members of That 70's Show and several strange police officers. Work as usual. Lunch at KFC where I was accosted by a crackhead with a Gerber Baby Obsession. Dinner with The Old Man and The Kid, even though I'd already eaten. Midnight Mass where I sat alone because The Kid and Spaz showed up a little late and sat six rows behind me even though I'd saved them seats. A little work a little wandering. In bed by 3 A.M. asleep by 6.

Christmas Day...Awake at 7 A.M., just over an hour after I'd fallen asleep in the first place. Right over to North Haledon to be there when the kids came down to open their gifts. Wrapping paper, early morning sunny dispositions, annoying familial tendencies. I got a toaster oven and frying pans. Fuck am I old. Back to FairLawn to remedy "The Three S's" (Shit, Shower, Shave). Over to The Old Man's house with The Kid because his wife has disappeared leaving him home alone on the holiday. Four hours of watching movies I've already seen. Mindless chit-chat. Miss Christmas dinner with the rest of the family to take the old man out. Nothing open but overcrowded Chinese restaurants. End up treating The Old Man and The Kid to Christmas dinner at a Chinese buffet. Merry fucking Christmas. Could have ended up at a bar I didn't want to be at with a bunch of people it would have been ok to be around. Instead I go to the movies...alone. Quench my new Phantom of the Opera/Musicals/Emmy Rossum obsession with an 11:00 showing of Joel Schumacher's Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of The Opera at Willowbrook. Out by 1:30. Marvel at how different the world looks. Blast Music of the Night as I zip down Annie's Road. 7-11 for Snapple Iced Tea. Home by 2:15. Read Johnathan Strange & Mr Norrel. Fifteen minutes of Love, Actually. Fifteen Minutes of Mystic River. One and one half hour of unmentionable blank spot. Asleep by 5 A.M. dreaming of hunting wolves in Paterson with friends I haven't seen for too long.

The Day After...Could go to Connecticut to see old family friend/actor and family. Could go ATV riding. Antioch meeting at 6 P.M. Don't go ATV riding so I can go to Connecticut. Family leaves too late, can't go to Connecticut because I won't be back in time for Antioch. Hour later Antioch is cancelled. Went from having too many things to do, to nothing to do at all. Call Nick to go buy trailer hitch. Stop to see The Kid at the liquor store. We don't need a hitch since he isn't riding tomorrow. Take Nick home. Head up to Best Buy to buy The Day After Tomorrow (starring...) and Napoleon Dynamite (Where'd you spend last summer Napoleon? I told you! Hunting wolverines with my uncle in Alaska.) Best Buy packed tight with post-Christmas shoppers. Fat man me can't stand struggling through aisles clogged with puerile shoppers. Leave without buying DVD's. 7-11 for Snapple Iced Tea. Back to the apartment to plan and plot for tonight and what lies beyond.

Yawn.

Looking back on the last few days I can't see any reason why this wasn't one of the worst weekends of my life. Holidays are all rubbish. Some just suck, some I spend alone, some (like this one) are just plain strange. I spent most of the past several days hovering between alone/bored and crowded/bothered. But...

No one has posted a comment on my blog in months. At least three of the blogs I read regularly haven't updated in the month of December. Of the rest only two have updated in the past week. I haven't talked to many of my friends lately. I won't have a radio show this week, so I won't be back in New Brunswick. I didn't have an Antioch meeting tonight so it will be a two week gap in between that. I was looking forward to seeing the Phantom of the Opera...and now I've seen it. I have no plans for New Years. I'm thoroughly shot. But...

As I came out of the movie theater last night I felt that old feeling. The lights were just bending in different ways and the empty parking lot looked to me like a plain of endless possibilties. Feel free to laugh, I laughed when I thought it too. And today as I left 7-11 with my Snapple Iced Tea I watched the snow slowly falling in the sky that grew darker and for the second I thought...not so bad.

Not so bad.